Weddings are all about love, laughter, and bringing the best people together - and that means you! Couples spend so much time and care dreaming up every detail of their day, and they can’t wait to share it with you. Your energy, excitement and good vibes are a big part of what makes it all unforgettable. By showing up ready to celebrate (and maybe shed a happy tear or two), you’re helping to make the magic even brighter. To help you bring your A-game, here’s your ultimate cheat sheet of do’s and don’ts for being the guest everyone’s thrilled to have at the party!
DO...
✅ RSVP on Time
One of the simplest and most respectful things you can do is respond to your invitation promptly - and accurately. A timely RSVP helps the couple secure an accurate guest count, which is crucial for organizing seating, catering and event logistics. Robin Hunter of Songbird Floristry shares, "With so much stress compressed into those last several weeks of preparation, chasing down guests to confirm whether they’re coming is THE WORST. The entire vendor team is preparing for every RSVP and the couple is investing accordingly. It’s a huge source of stress for the couple and their team and inaccurate responses are also a huge expense. You’re invited because you’re important to the couple, please respond accordingly and as soon as you know/before the deadline. If your RSVP status needs to be changed for any reason, do so as soon as you know you can or can't attend."
✅ Dress for the Occasion
Whether it’s a formal black-tie affair or a laid-back garden wedding, the couple has carefully considered the dress code for a reason. Follow the guidelines and avoid wearing anything too flashy or inappropriate. Remember, you’re not the star of the show - just a part of it! Your outfit should reflect respect for the couple and the occasion.
✅ Arrive On Time
Punctuality is key! Arriving late to the ceremony or reception disrupts the flow of the day and could mean missing important moments. To avoid running behind, Hunter of Songbird Floristry advises, "Plan to arrive at the venue 30 minutes before the ceremony start time, as indicated on the wedding website or invitation, unless otherwise specified." This extra time ensures you’re settled before the festivities begin and helps keep the day flowing smoothly. Plus, arriving early gives you a chance to soak in the atmosphere and be fully present for the celebration.
✅ Put Away Your Phone
Your presence at a wedding is a gift in itself, and being fully present means putting your phone away - especially during key moments like the ceremony, first dance or speeches. Constantly checking your device or snapping photos can be distracting, not only for you but for the couple and the other guests around you. Trust the professionals to capture the memories, and instead, soak in the magic of the day firsthand. A quiet, phone-free atmosphere helps keep the focus exactly where it should be: on the couple.
✅ Respect the Seating Chart
Don’t try to move things around or switch seats. The couple has put a lot of thought into the seating arrangements, and respecting this plan helps avoid confusion or uncomfortable situations. It's all part of ensuring the day goes smoothly for everyone involved.
✅ Be Clear and Honest About Dietary Needs
If you have dietary restrictions or preferences, communicate them early. This helps the couple and caterers ensure everyone is well-fed and happy, without any last-minute surprises.
✅ Dress to Complement the Wedding Vision
When couples (and their creative teams) design a wedding, every detail - from the flowers to the linens - is carefully curated to create a beautiful, immersive experience. Hunter of Songbird Floristry shares, "Coordinate your apparel to compliment the colors of the wedding. It totally lends to a fully immersive experience. The couple and their team have typically given so much thought to the design and details of the day. Guests willing to take an assignment on themed apparel really makes the event and photos feel 1000%."
✅ Be Mindful of the Open Bar
If the wedding includes an open bar, drink responsibly. Everyone is there to have a good time, but excessive drinking can quickly become a problem. Be conscious of how much you're consuming, and don’t overdo it—it’s important to keep the fun balanced and the mood light.
DON'T...
🚫 Bring an Uninvited Plus-One
Weddings are carefully planned with a specific guest list in mind, often based on space, budget and the couple’s personal relationships. Bringing an uninvited plus-one throws off seating arrangements, catering counts and the overall flow of the day. If your invitation doesn't explicitly include a guest, it's important to respect that decision. Trust that if the couple wanted you to bring someone, they would have made it clear. Honor their planning (and avoid any awkwardness) by attending solo if that’s how your invitation was addressed.
🚫 Wear White
White, ivory, and other pale shades should be avoided - those colors are reserved for the bride. You don’t want to outshine the bride on her special day! Stick to other beautiful hues that complement the theme without drawing attention away from the main event.
🚫 Criticize the Ceremony or Reception
Whether or not you like the food, the music, or the décor, keep your opinions to yourself. It’s the couple’s special day, and they’ve put a lot of thought into every detail. If something isn’t to your taste, it’s best to focus on the celebration and not dwell on minor details.
🚫 Overindulge
at The Bar
While it's great to enjoy a drink or two, excessive alcohol can lead to a less-than-ideal guest experience. From slurring speeches to uninvited dance floor “performances,” overdoing it can leave a bad impression.
🚫 Take Photos During Key Moments
While you may be excited to capture memories, it’s important to avoid stepping into the photographer’s frame during key moments, like the vows or first dance. Trust the professionals to do their job, and instead, enjoy these moments without the distraction of your phone. If you really want to remember it, ask the couple later if you can share a few photos from your perspective.
🚫 Snag Decor
Those gorgeous floral arrangements aren't party favors (unless stated otherwise). Unless explicitly mentioned, don’t assume you can take home any of the floral decor. Taking items without permission can lead to the couple incurring extra charges for missing pieces.
🚫 Say Goodbye
“We're a big fan of the Irish Exit," states Emily Gylling of Ponderosa Planning. "It can actually be more gracious instead of disrupting the flow of dancing or conversation to say goodbye to the newlyweds. They know you've had a great time because you stayed to dance and enjoy the party. When it's time to leave, slip away quietly so they can keep enjoying their guests. Afterward, send a thoughtful text to the couple letting them know how much you enjoyed their special day and share a photo or two."
🚫 Drink and Drive
It should go without saying, but drinking and driving is never acceptable - yet it still happens far too often after weddings. "With a wide variety of ride hailing services and even host-provided transportation sometimes being available, it's easier than ever to make smart, safe decisions," says Robin Hunter of Songbird Floristry. "Make a plan to celebrate responsibly. Inquire with the bartender about mocktails."
Photo by Lauren Miles Photo courtesy of Songbird Floristry
