Congratulations, you're engaged! Whether the proposal just happened or the glow still has not worn off, engagement season is equal parts thrilling and overwhelming. Suddenly, everyone has questions, opinions, and timelines. Before you dive headfirst into Pinterest boards and venue tours, take a breath. The most intentional weddings start with thoughtful first steps and permission to slow down.
Here’s how Joie Thongsavath of Simple Joie Photography suggests making the most of this exciting season:
What to Do First After Getting Engaged
Let the moment breathe
Before the engagement becomes a project, allow it to simply be a milestone. Celebrate privately. Call the people who matter most. Sit with the excitement before sharing it widely. As Thongsavath says, “You only get to call each other ‘fiancé’ for a short season, so take time to soak it in before diving into logistics.”
Capture the joy
After taking time to savor your engagement, consider scheduling an engagement session. As Joie explains, “It’s a wonderful way to capture this milestone and share the joy with family and friends.” Beyond creating beautiful images, it gives you tangible memories of this time before the whirlwind of planning begins.
Align on values before aesthetics
Early conversations should focus less on how it will look and more on how it should feel. Talk about what matters most to each of you - intimacy, experience, tradition, creativity, ease. Joie emphasizes, “What matters most is staying present, making decisions together, and remembering to fall in love with the process as much as the day itself.” These shared priorities quietly shape every decision that follows.
Have a real conversation about budget
Not numbers yet, just boundaries. Understanding comfort levels, contributors, and expectations early helps avoid friction later. “From there, focus on the big picture: setting a budget, choosing a venue, and if possible, hiring a planner to help guide you through the process,” advises Joie. A general framework creates freedom, not limitation, and gives context to every future choice.
Define a loose timeline
Whether you are imagining a short engagement or a longer runway, identifying a general season or year brings clarity without pressure. Joie notes, “There’s no one ‘right’ timeline - some couples savor a long engagement to save and plan intentionally, while others dive right in.”
Bring in guidance early, even informally
A planner consultation at the beginning can be invaluable. Early insight helps couples understand realistic timelines, costs, and priorities and often prevents missteps before they happen. Think of it less as committing and more as orienting.
Common Misconceptions Couples Run Into Early On
“We need to book everything immediately.”
Some elements are time-sensitive, but most decisions benefit from context. Rushing rarely leads to better outcomes, only faster ones.
Mistaking inspiration for instruction
Social media offers beautiful ideas, but it can quietly turn inspiration into expectation. Not every trend, aesthetic, or viral moment needs to be included in your wedding.
Starting with design instead of structure
Mood boards are tempting, but without clarity around budget, guest count, or priorities, they can create confusion rather than direction.
Comparing timelines
Engagements are not meant to follow a universal clock. Six months or two years, neither is more correct. “The right timeline is the one that supports your life, not someone else’s,” Joie says.
Treating planning as a checklist
Wedding planning is not linear. Priorities evolve. Decisions shift. Allowing flexibility makes the process more human and far less stressful.
How to Slow Down Without Falling Behind
Guard your happiness
Not every conversation needs to be about planning. Let engagement exist outside logistics. Make space for dinners, weekends, or moments where the wedding simply is not the topic.
Set purposeful planning routines
Set aside designated times to talk through decisions rather than letting them spill into everyday life. Structure creates calm.
Focus on clarity, not completion
In the early stages, progress looks like alignment. Shared expectations, mutual understanding, and a clear sense of direction matter more than checking boxes.
Return to the why when things feel loud
At its core, a wedding is a celebration of commitment and community. Joie reminds couples, “Remember to fall in love with the process as much as the day itself.” Grounding yourself in that truth can re-center the entire process.
The Takeaway
Engagement season is not meant to be a race to the finish line. It is a threshold. A moment to pause, reflect, and begin with intention. When couples allow themselves to slow down, ask the right questions, and prioritize alignment over urgency, planning becomes not only more manageable, but more meaningful.
Photo by Simple Joie Photography
