If anyone understands what truly shapes a wedding day, it’s the professionals working quietly behind the scenes - building timelines, shaping experiences, smoothing stress, and crafting moments that couples remember long after the last dance. With years of experience guiding couples on one of life’s most meaningful celebrations, these experts were asked to reflect on what they would do differently if they were planning their own weddings, what they’d prioritize most intentionally, and the advice they wish every couple knew from the very beginning. Their insights reveal a shared truth: the most unforgettable celebrations are not defined by perfection, but by purpose, presence, and intention.
Prioritize Support (Yes, That Means Hiring a Planner
One of the loudest refrains from wedding professionals? Don’t do it alone. “Hire a planner, hire a planner, hire a planner!” says Nikki Gebhart of Songbird Floristry. “They truly make all the difference in how smoothly your day goes and are so worth the investment.”
From a vendor perspective, planners aren’t just helpful - they’re transformative. “Communication, timelines (before and during the event), and setup go so much smoother,” Gebhart explains. More importantly, planners free couples from managing logistics on a day meant to be lived. “There are a million things on your mind during your wedding and all your vendors want you to feel relaxed and happy instead of managing the day.”
Even for couples who love being hands-on, she adds, working with a planner doesn’t mean giving up control - it means gaining support. “You’ll still be involved in making your day special. You’ll just have an expert team to help guide you and take a lot off your plate so you can be fully present.”
Build the Day Around People, Not Just the Schedule
“If I were planning my own wedding again, I’d be more intentional about building the timeline around people,” says Danison Fronda-Tietz of Bowtie & Brush. “I’d extend cocktail hour and lean more into the guest experience.” Rather than packing the day with back-to-back moments, Fronda-Tietz encourages couples to think about flow, comfort, and what guests actually enjoy. “I’d prioritize guest experience upgrades that actually get used (great flow, comfort, and something interactive guests can take home).”
Her guiding principle is simple but powerful: “If the day feels calm and cared-for, your guests will feel it too - and that’s what they’ll remember.”
Start With Your Vision and Let It Guide Every Decision
Before budgets, Pinterest boards, or vendor outreach, Jordan Gladow of Blum Floral Design encourages couples to pause and reflect. “I think the most important first step when planning a wedding is to take a moment and just think about what you’re visualizing your dream wedding to be,” Gladow says. “Is it walking down a flower-filled aisle and seeing your fiancé at the altar? A raging dance floor packed with friends? Or maybe it’s not even the wedding itself, but your dream honeymoon?”
That core vision, she says, should become the filter for every choice. And just as importantly, couples should remember they have permission to opt out. “Everything at a wedding is optional and everyone has different priorities,” Gladow explains. “A good vendor is passionate about what they’re providing, but if you don’t see the value of something, it’s okay to ask questions or do something else entirely. It’s your wedding day, and a good vendor wants you to be happy and content.”
Be Honest About Your Budget and Wary of “Cutting Corners”
Budget conversations can be uncomfortable, but avoiding them often leads to more stress later. “Cutting corners will likely cost you more in the long run,” says Nikki Gebhart. She urges couples to have honest discussions early, both with each other and with any family members who may be contributing.
“Discuss the elements of the day that are most important to you and prioritize and allocate your budget realistically based on that,” she says. And while DIY can be appealing, it’s not always the money-saver it seems. “DIY projects can be fun if you’re truly passionate about them. Otherwise, they’ll end up costing the same or more and will surely add stress to your planning.”
Rethink the Guest List and Release the Pressure to Impress
For Joie Thongsavath of Simple Joie Photography, the biggest shift she’d make planning her own wedding today is approaching the guest list more intentionally. “Even as a wedding professional, I’ve felt the pressure to create something ‘Pinterest-perfect’ and the quiet fear of being judged if every detail didn’t come together just right,” she admits. But what she’s witnessed recently has changed her perspective.
“Some of the most meaningful weddings I’ve captured were beautifully intimate - guest counts under 50, one thoughtful wow moment, incredible food, and music that carried the night,” Thongsavath says. “What stood out wasn’t the scale, but the connection.” Her advice is clear: “Focus on who you’re inviting, not who you feel obligated to include. When you prioritize the people who truly know and love you, the celebration takes care of itself.”
Tune Out Comparison and Choose What’s Meaningful
In an era of constant inspiration and comparison, Katie Kearn of Portland Event & Design encourages couples to get intentional about what they don’t let influence them. “We’d be more intentional about tuning out comparison,” Kearn says. “Trends and traditions can be inspiring, but it’s easy to get caught up in what a wedding is ‘supposed’ to look like.” From her professional experience, what makes a wedding feel effortless isn’t excess, it’s alignment. “We’d prioritize guest experience and flow, knowing this only happens with thoughtful planning and the right team. Seamless timelines, trusted vendor collaboration, and intentional design working together are what make a wedding feel effortless.”
Her parting wisdom is one many couples need to hear: “You don’t need to do everything - only what feels meaningful to you. The most memorable weddings are personal, intentional, and rooted in what truly matters to the couple.”
Photo by KMT Photos courtesy of Portland Event & Design
